09. What attracts women? What is her type of man?
Astrology can offer us a few clues as to what types of people men and women are attracted to. What follows is a simplistic model for determining the “ideal” man for a woman.
Traditionally, astrologers have interpreted the position and condition of Venus in the natal chart differently depending on the gender of the native. The reason for treating Venus in men’s and women’s chart differently is based on the idea that women may tend to “disown” the qualities of Mars in her own chart. Since the energies of Mars have to go somewhere, when a woman doesn’t “own”, or identify with, her Mars, the energies would be projected onto the men he meets and relates with. Similarly, men are thought to more easily relate to and “own” Mars qualities. The concept of projection is an interesting and valid one. However, while it may hold true with Mars to some extent today, we prefer not to attach gender bias to Venus and Mars. In our experience, men and women tend to take on the role of Venus in their relationships in approximately equal measure.
However, the position of Mars by sign in a woman’s chart does tend to offer some clues as to what she will find attractive in a man. This is because Mars reveals what turns us on to some degree, and represents traditionally masculine qualities. (Venus helps to round out the picture in terms of sexual attraction and style). If you don’t know the sign position of Mars, all you need is a birth date!
Note that a woman’s Sun sign certainly factors into the “equation” for an ideal man as well as Mars.
The Sun Sign is what the average person answers when you ask “What’s your sign?”
If Sun and Mars are in the same Sign, the attraction to that type is extra strong!
For convenience, the typical dates the Sun is in a particular Sign are given. If the woman’s birth date is the same as one of the “cusp dates” given here, you may find that the Sun Sign for the date one day before or after that date is more appropriate. This is because in some years the Sun moves into the next Sign one day before or after these typical “cusp dates” – and it also depends on what time of day the Sun actually crossed the Cusp. Click here for more information on Cusps.
We can use these convenient “cusp dates” for the Sun because our calendar was designed to conform to the apparent motion of the Sun. But the position of the planet Mars does not conveniently match the calendar; so you will have to look up its position on the exact month/day/year of birth from the listings in an astrological or naval “Ephemeris”, or get an inexpensive computer-calculated “natal horoscope chart” based on the birth data.
Before you look up your own Mars Sign, try an experiment – read about all twelve “types” and then choose the one (other than your Sun Sign) which best describes the second “type” of man who attracts you. Is it the same “type” your Mars Sign predicts? Has your dating history included partners with that Sun Sign?
The position of Mars in a woman’s chart, by sign
If a woman’s Mars is in Aries, she is often attracted to a strong, independent, and forthright man, perhaps athletic in appearance, but more importantly, direct, confident, and straightforward. Ultra sensitive or shy men are not usually the most attractive men to these women, as they tend to prefer strong and independent types. Men who don’t beat around the bush, who state what they want, and who display a certain level of confidence are ideal.
The Aries Female is an energetic, flirtatious force of nature who wants to be swept off her feet and cherished, but will step on your toes the minute she feels she is being smothered. She is most attracted to good looking, successful lovers who are capable of boosting her not-insignificant self-esteem. If you can’t keep up (or lose!) her interest, she will quickly leave you behind in a cloud of dust, having traded you in for a pricier, showier model. If you have won the heart of an Aries woman, be prepared that she can be jealous, competitive, and downright cruel! On the flip side, she is capable of complete loyalty and will demand that you give her the same.
If a woman’s Mars is in Taurus, she is often attracted to men who possess a stable, secure, and very strong aura about them. Meat-and-potatoes types are definitely these women’s “cup of tea”. Unstable, overly intellectual, or “flaky” men are simply not what these women would define “real men”. These women like their men simple to please, traditionally masculine, and strong. They often are especially turned on by men who work with their hands (as opposed to “suits”), men who can build things, and sexually simple but sensual men.
The Taurus Female is as strong of heart as she is of mind. She tends to hide her own vulnerabilities, usually by immersing herself more deeply into nurturing those she loves. She is drawn to partners who are her equal (or better!) on the material plane – ones that offer up some type of guarantee for the future, like a wedding ring. She most likely will appear prim-and-proper out in public, but can be quite the wild child behind closed doors. She is as stubborn as she is loving, and finds it easy to get stuck in her ways. The concept of give-and-take sometimes passes her by, and she can be possessive to the point of oppression.
If a woman’s Mars is in Gemini, intelligence ranks very high on her list of ideal qualities in a man. An athletic or tomboyish look, sometimes on the slim side, is often preferred. Wittiness is a huge turn-on for these women. Versatility, liveliness, and playfulness are qualities in men that these women find devastatingly attractive. They’re not especially impressed with what they might consider “less evolved” types of men who display more typical, or traditional, masculine traits. Depressed or boring types won’t do. These women want to be stimulated, and their brains are their biggest sexual organs.
The Gemini Woman is witty, charming, intelligent, and almost always at least ten minutes late. She is more attracted to a high IQ than any physical trait. She enjoys candlelight, but romance can bloom in broad daylight if the conversation is scintillating enough. This is not a woman adept at expressing her innermost feelings, and is likely to crack a joke until the serious moment passes. She wants security and stability in love, and a lover who is actually going to understand her, or at least treat her warmly when they don’t.
If a woman’s Mars is in Cancer, she may prefer the “sensitive type” of man who is compassionate, sensitive, and protective. These women sometimes are attracted to temperamental sorts, finding moodiness in a man rather intriguing. They want men with “layers” (remember Shrek?). However, they are not into the type of “sensitive” men that Mars in Pisces women are most attracted to. In fact, they generally want men who are strong and traditionally masculine. Generally, these women prefer men who are physically strong or at least look that way–remember that they love to feel protected.
The Cancer Female is an alluring beauty, whose gentleness and caring nature tends to be welcomed in any crowd. She believes that love is the secret to life, and the more dreamy and romantic, the better. Sentimentality is a way of life. She is demure and erotic, and wants a lover who will commit, commit, commit! Her moods swings can be quite the challenge, and she can throw an Oscar-worthy tantrum when she doesn’t get her way. When this feminine seductress snares her partner, her attention and affection makes them want to stay.
If a woman’s Mars is in Leo, she may be attracted to men who are proud, outgoing, and perhaps even gaudy. Aloofness or a dignified, confident aura is usually appealing to these women. These women are more inclined to enjoy men who possess a rather bold, confident manner–and style! Playfulness and fun are very important to these women, and the uptight type or overly serious man is not going to do it for them. Stinginess is a huge turn-off, too. These women want their men generous, dignified, and confident. These women do want their men to be a little possessive and jealous, as it makes them feel more alive, wanted, and attractive.
The Leo Woman tends to be successful, self-assured, and at times more than a little flamboyant – but no more so than a queen has a right to be. She is attracted to attractive, adventurous lovers who will share the stage with her – as long as they don’t try and steal the spotlight! Her sexual prowess can keep you smiling with her adventuresome spirit, but please don’t ask her to get kinky. She will not live with tyranny – even though she is as likely as any man to flawlessly play the role of the tyrant. Leo women know that they deserve the best of everything, and aren’t afraid to sample many kinds of varieties when on the prowl for true love.
If a woman’s Mars is in Virgo, an appealing man to her is usually an understated, rather simple appearance without too much glamour or ostentatiousness. Healthy, natural, and clean are most appealing physical qualities, and a certain amount of intelligence as well as a modest, sensible approach to life. These women are turned off by men who are overly confident, bossy, or unkind. They are looking for perceptive men who are kind and helpful. Competency is important, but these women aren’t big on men who are show-offs. A quietly competent aura is best.
The Virgo Female really is filled with purity and virtue, but also knows how to cut loose and have a good time – when she’s not over-analyzing the smallest aspects of life. This lady is always in control – at least of herself. In her world, there is a time, place, and order to everything – and her love and trust must be earned or won. She is most attracted to neat and tidy lovers whose philosophical intellect can challenge her own. She is cautious with her emotions, but when she chooses to release her passion, she removes the virginal misconception with the subtlety of a raging forest fire. This is a supersensitive woman with many facets of character, who constantly strives for perfection in herself, life and love.
If a woman’s Mars is in Libra, she is most attracted to men with understated charm, good manners, and a pleasing and balanced appearance. Coarseness or rudeness is often a turn-off, and so is independence! These women prefer men who are cooperative and who are willing to please. Romantic men are a huge turn-on, and these women truly appreciate classy sorts.
The Libra Female is warm and womanly… artistic and elegant. She can come home from work and whip out an intimate dinner for 20 that rivals any gala. She can find something attractive in every person, place, or thing – and still believes that Prince Charming will come riding into her life on a snow-white steed. Until they show up, any lover who shows interest and has even a liberal understanding of romance is definitely worth consideration, especially if they are packaged into a hot body. A good woman, she tries to anticipate her lover’s needs, sometimes forgetting that air and personal space are amongst them. The greatest challenge for the Libra Female is realizing that a clinging vine tends to strangle, but when she’s content with herself alone in life, she is the most desirable flower.
If a woman’s Mars is in Scorpio, a complicated, dark, powerful, and passionate man is the biggest turn-on. This woman wants a man with “layers”–one who has depth and is complicated enough to intrigue her. She is especially attracted to men who ooze sensuality, who are perhaps a little dark and mysterious (even brooding), and who have a magnetic and powerful aura. Intensity is a turn-on for these women–flighty, superficial, and indifferent types need not apply! These women generally do enjoy a certain level of possessiveness in a man
The Scorpio Female is an unwinding mystery, sometimes even to herself. She is strong yet soft, kind, compassionate, intuitive, alluring and shy. She can rise to any challenge, claim victory without rubbing it in, and love so deeply that it scares herself. Sexually, there are no boundaries, no limits to the games she’ll play (sex is power!) but she’s very selective with the few that can experience her feminine wiles. She is attracted to a partner who is intelligent as well as wise, attractive and enigmatic. While the Scorpio female can be quite possessive, she prefers that her freedoms be unrestrained. The person who falls for Ms. Scorpio’s embrace will never be the same. Once you know the rules, you understand it is her game.
If a woman’s Mars is in Sagittarius, she is most impressed with a man who is playful, fun, intelligent, and honest. An energetic, happy aura in a man is often most appealing. Joking around is a must, and a huge turn-on for these women! They want to have a good time, and to have long conversations with their men as well. They are not especially attracted to men who are overly groomed, generally don’t like too much “decoration” or men who put on airs. A tousled, casual appearance is just fine with these women–in fact, it’s preferred. A man’s status is not of huge interest to these women–they are looking for honest guys whose egos aren’t tied up in what they do for a living or how they look.
The Sagittarius Female can light up a room, simply by stepping in to it. Charming, witty, outgoing, and hilariously fun, this woman may not be sure in what direction her life is going, but she will make the most of scenery along the way! She is independent and impulsive, and her idea of romance is a week-long adventure – but you can bring champagne and roses if you want to. She is attracted to active, intelligent, and optimistic lovers who thrive as much as she does venturing into the unknown. She can make an insult sound like a compliment, and to her, “apology” is some foreign and undiscovered word. You may not know where the Sagittarius female is going, but fun and chaos will mark where she’s been.
If a woman’s Mars is in Capricorn, she is generally attracted to competent men, perhaps well-established business types or otherwise accomplished men. She doesn’t necessarily go for status, but she does want a man who has an aura of competence about him. She is looking for a certain level of security, and is unimpressed with men who are drifters, irresponsible, or flighty. A stable, directed man with goals in life and a responsible, even serious, attitude to life is important to this woman.
The Capricorn Female is an energetic workaholic who is always on the move. This accomplished femme fatale is one of the most kind-hearted, loyal, and caring pessimists that you could ever meet. Her sense of self-worth is what makes her strive tirelessly for success, but it also is what allows her to fall for some pretty superficial romantic situations. While she wants a self-sufficient, warm and caring partner – she often falls prey to false hopes and promises formed by attractive lips. She is a sensitive creature whose feelings can easily be hurt, but has a problem recognizing that her own finesse is often delivered with the gentleness of a 10 pound sledgehammer at full swing. Logic, emotion, and drama rule and fuel her world, but being on her “good side” is a very good place to be, because while she will forgive – she is less likely to let you forget.
If a woman’s Mars is in Aquarius, she can be most impressed by men who are somewhat unconventional or kooky in their choice of clothes and overall style. She wants an interesting man. He can certainly be handsome, but boring? Hardly. A man with a brain is important, although she won’t be attracted to a brainy type. Somebody who is perceptive, a little unconventional, and perhaps somewhat aloof is most attractive. Rigid or boring types simply won’t do.
The Aquarius Female is a dreamy, analytical, friendly person, who either enchants or scares those she meets. At work or play, there is a calm intensity about her that can endear or overwhelm, but never fails to make an impression. She is most attracted to lovers of a like-mind, those who value honesty, humanity, the world, and all the life forms in it. One of the best listeners out there, Ms. Aquarius often fails to ask for what she wants or needs, because she’ll just assume she won’t get it. Marriage is security, and she has idealistic views of both.
If a woman’s Mars is in Pisces, she is often impressed with a man who is sensitive, compassionate, and intriguingly complicated. Lacking in confidence is just fine, and so is a touch of helplessness. A “starving artist” type may be appealing, or a man who is downtrodden in some way, as these women enjoy men who have a distinct soft side. The strong, independent types are not turn-ons for these women.
The Pisces Female is usually a soft-spoken, tender-hearted woman “in love with love” and romance. She has the soul and vision of an artist whose temperament is more prone to tears than tantrums. She has a vital and sensual sense of humor, and her charisma is quite beguiling. Because she believes in romantic love, she often gravitates toward the playboy, often not noticing the stability offered by a less-fairytale type of lover. She believes there is good in all, but often fails to recognize her own inner strength. The female Pisces who is begging to be rescued is the one most likely to be scraping egg off her face.
Sun or Mars in Aries
The type of man who attracts you is brash and bold, daring and direct, and has a sense of adventure.
You may be drawn to “macho” types or men in uniform – military or police, etc. – and to even “dangerous” men. You seek competition and challenges… so you like men who are “hard to get”.
You’re attracted to “winners” – in sports or business or any form of competition, including a competition to win you!
Regardless of how you appear on the surface, there is a “warrior woman” deep inside you, and what you really want is a “warrior” who is strong enough or brave enough to be your mate.
You’re the kind of woman who secretly wants to say, “You Tarzan, me Jane.”
If you have Mars in Aries, you are especially drawn to strong or athletic men and “macho” types; and have an even more aggressive inner “warrior woman” who loves action, competition, and challenges – perhaps even a good fight now and then. See Flirting by Sign. Sun or Venus in Aries.
Sun or Mars in Taurus
The type of man who attracts you is strong-willed and “all man”, and also sensual and stable – the classic “strong silent type”.
Men who are “earthy” and/or “down-to-earth” appeal to you, and it may be important to you that he likes animals or nature or “natural” things.
A man who can cook, cuddle, and care for your comfort interests you. An appreciation for fine food and music may be part of the attraction, and you may be particularly attracted by a fine singing voice or “sexy” speaking voice. The scent of a man is arousing.
The Sun in Taurus woman is more sensual than other women, and the Mars in Taurus woman is the ultimate Sensuous Woman.
You want a man who can touch and fondle – “a slow hand” who caresses you with a soft, teasing touch that pleases and pleasures you by arousing all the subtle sensations you savor and surrender to.
You could be “insatiable” in your pursuit of sensual pleasure, so a man with the patience to prolong foreplay and the strength to sustain extended encounters is your ideal partner in passion.
You’re very strong-willed yourself – yet deep down you want to be dominated by a strong lusty man. But you won’t admit it.
Sun or Mars in Gemini
The man who attracts you is clever and changeable, and a great conversationalist. If he can keep you guessing, then he’ll keep you interested.
“Communication” is very important to you, so the man who can share information and ideas appeals to you. If he says interesting things and stimulates you intellectually, he’ll spark a romantic interest too.
You respond to clever conversation and things that arouse your curiosity. Double meanings, sexual innuendos, word-games, and witty flirting arouse your interest.
You can be a sucker for the “smooth-talker”, but also for the “good listener” who seems interested in everything you have to say. And you do have lots to say.
If you have Mars in Gemini, you may be especially drawn to men who arouse your curiosity or offer a variety of experiences. Being “interesting” is more important to you than being exceptionally attractive.
At times you may find yourself attracted to, or involved with, more than one man. Juggling two relationships may require some quick thinking and convincing story telling – but that comes naturally to a Gemini type like you.
Sun or Mars in Cancer
The man who attracts you is protective, security-conscious, sensitive, and understanding.
If you find that he makes you feel “safe”, you’ll somehow feel yourself drawn to him.
You can be attracted to a man who is financially secure, especially if he owns his own home, has a “nest egg” saved for a rainy day, and could afford to raise children in a good home environment.
Your strong sexuality responds best to emotion and security.
A man’s sensitivity may be more important than his sexiness.
You can be drawn to a man you unconsciously perceive as a father-figure, or consciously see as a potential “father of my children” – and/or to a man who needs to be “mothered”.
You can be particularly attracted to a man who loves children, can cook (or loves your cooking), and wants a cosy, comfortable home. And likes your mother (if you do).
If you have Mars in Cancer, you may be particularly drawn to a protective and mature man, and possibly to one who acts like a “father-figure” to you.
Sun or Mars in Leo
The man who attracts you is one who radiates warmth and shows his affection in a physical way.
You’re even more interested if he is rich or famous or powerful or gorgeous… and thus can reflect his glory onto you.
A man who commands respect, and a man who is generous (and can afford to be), will also appeal to you.
You like men who admire and praise you.
A fine face and beautiful body get your attention. You may be particularly attracted to “the boss” or men who are “leaders” in some way.
You can also be drawn to the “creative” type such as actors, artists, musicians, or performers.
If you have Mars in Leo, you may get aroused by seeing a man act self-assured, cocky, or even arrogant.
Basically, you are like a Princess who expects to be treated royally and courted by a handsome and powerful Prince.
Sun or Mars in Virgo
The type of man who attracts you is intelligent, well-mannered, well-dressed, practical, and reliable – especially if he’s neat and clean.
You may actually check out your new date’s fingernails to see if they are clean and manicured. Or you check his shoes.
Appearances are important to you – not so much LOOKS, but LOOKING “proper” – but few are “perfect” enough.
Yet you are at times attracted to a man who is far from perfect, because you think you can “fix” him.
An intelligent conversation arouses your interest. You appreciate wit, but not crudeness.
You appreciate a man who can act with decorum in public, yet can abandon himself to an earthy lustinesss in private (as you do).
If you were in a television series, you could play “Monica” on “Friends”.
Sun or Mars in Libra
The type of man who attracts you is charming, polite, well-dressed, and looks “classy” – and it helps if he’s good-looking, romantic, and a bit old-fashioned.
You tend to respond to mental and verbal turn-ons more than the crude physical kinds.
You can be “charmed” by a smooth-talker, and are attracted to the “creative” types.
Serenity is what you seek, yet it becomes boring to you – so you like to shake things up a little now and then.
Especially if you have Mars in Libra, you may be aroused by what you see as “beautiful” – such as a finely-formed body or face.
You may also find an argument arousing, as long as it remains verbal and does not get physically threatening. Though you see yourself as being a lover, not a fighter, you may be sexually attracted to a macho type, as Venus was attracted to Mars.
You’re a bit like Ginger Rogers, and your idea of a perfect partner would be a Fred Astaire. If you were in a televison series, you could play “Diane” on “Cheers”.
Sun or Mars in Scorpio
The type of man who attracts you seems intense or inscrutable, and has a kind of magnetic charisma about him that hints at smouldering sexuality and passion.
You are strong-willed and possessive, and like the same in a mate, for you have a deep-felt need to be wanted.
A subtle psychological power struggle may be a seductive aspect of the attraction. You may seek to control (or to lose control) – especially through sex or seduction.
Men who seem mysterious or brooding or have “deep dark secrets” could intrigue and entice you. See some films starring James Dean or Mickey Rourke for examples.
You are often attracted to men who seem “powerful” or “dangerous”.
If you have Mars in Scorpio, you will have extra strong passions and sexual desires, and a sexual magnetism that is sensed by others, especially other Scorpio types. You are the ultimate “Seductress” and may be especially aroused by the raw sexual energy of a passionate man.
Sun or Mars in Saggitarius
The man who attracts you is one who displays high moral and ethical standards, and lives up to your ideals of honesty and integrity – and even more if he could teach you something or be a spiritual guide.
You want honesty, friendship, and fun.
Sharing adventures or sports or a philosophical discussion gets your interest, and a man with a sense of humor gets your affections – even if his jokes are bad.
Companionship or “being buddies” is important to you, so your romances often start with a casual shared activity. You can fall in love with a friend, but can often let a romance fade into a friendship.
(Be aware that your natural friendliness may sometimes be mistaken for romantic or sexual interest.)
You’re attracted to men from a different race, religion, or country than your own.
Especially if you have Mars in Sagittarius, you may find a shared adventure arousing, such as an outdoor activity like hiking or horseback riding or motorcycling. And you will find “foreign” men quite sexy or seductive.
Sun or Mars in Capricornus
The man who attracts you seems serious, aloof, and detached, and somehow projects a hard-to-read “inscrutable” look that intrigues you.
You like a man who’s ambitious and socially acceptable, and you’re drawn to money, status, and power.
You may be attracted to men who are much older or younger than yourself, and to men from families with “old money” or long-established wealth and social standing (think “Kennedy” & “Rockefeller”).
You could be a “material girl” who is more concerned with financial security than sexiness or romance. You may choose the up-and-coming or established career man over penniless romantics, sexy studs, or guys with good looks but poor prospects.
You can be slow to show your affections, so you are comfortable with a man who hides his feelings, and patient with one who takes time to commit – if he is serious about commitments. And you may expect a man to be patient with you too – and committed to you!
Basically, you “play for keeps” and are only interested in “serious” contenders in your game of love.
Sun or Mars in Aquarius
The type of man who attracts you is intellectually interesting, logical, open-minded, and willing to experiment. A man with ideas and insights fascinates you.
You’re even more attracted if he seems unconventional or unpredictable or just “unusual”. Idealists, individualists, and rebels intrigue you – even ones who would shock your parents or friends.
Political types may also appeal to you, especially the “reformers” and “crusaders” and defenders of the down-trodden.
You can be aroused more by curiosity than by sexual signals alone, so an interesting man who is a little aloof (or even eccentric) intrigues and attracts you.
Originality gets your attention, and unpredictability keeps you interested. Boring and dull people lose your interest quickly; and the closed-minded and rigid types lose your respect.
If you have Mars in Aquarius, you may be especially attracted to the “rebels” or active “movers-and-shakers”. You can be aroused by the idea of “experimenting” with new and different sexual styles; and may try the taboo merely out of curiosity, not kinkiness.
Sun or Mars in Pisces
The man who attracts you is romantic and sensitive, and either… imaginative and a dreamer / artistic or musical / spiritually oriented / in need of help / or lost and confused.
The idea of a secret love affair can excite and entice you. Mystery intriques you.
Your innate sympathetic nature makes you a sucker for a sob story. Compassion for another can create an initial interest in them. Emotional types attract you, and sharing feelings can seduce you.
Broken-hearted lovers, starving artists, and penniless poets play on your heart strings. You can be attracted to a man who needs a savior, but also to one you can see as your savior.
If you were a Princess, you would be dreaming of a romantic “knight in shining armour” to come and sweep you off your feet.
Especially if you have Mars in Pisces, you could be prone to let your passive and sympathetic nature lead you to lovers who use or abuse you. You may fantasize about being “taken”, but you don’t have to be taken advantage of.