Unrequited love has certain markers in the charts. An Astrologer can look at a synastry chart and tell you what each person is feeling. This is one of the questions I get most often. To see what one person feels, the Astrologer should focus on his moon, first and foremost. One’s Moon is one’s heart. One’s Moon is one’s inner child. Falling in love is child to child. Hence, falling in love is Moon to Moon. I am talking about soul here, the kind one has with one’s best friend. I am not talking about passion. That is other aspects, which I will address shortly.
Back to the Moons. Without Moon connections, the relationship will have no soul. Hence, if a client brings me a chart with one person’s moon unaspected to the other person, I see no future for the relationship.By unaspected, I mean that the Moon of one person makes no aspects to the chart of the other person. In these cases, neither person seems to understand the other. I am sure you can imagine how this would feel in a marriage.
I, always, watch the charts in everything I do. If I have a relationship, any relationship, I see how the charts play out. If you have ever found yourself at a cocktail party, stuck in the corner with someone who does not understand you, that is how it would feel with an Unaspected Moon in synastry.
The Unaspected Sun in synastry works the same way. With the Unaspected Sun, it has a different slant. In this case, the two do not understand the motives of one another, as opposed to the hearts of one another, as is the case with the Moons.
While we are talking about Unaspected Planets in synastry, we may as well examine some of the others. An Unaspected Venus in synastry has a different slant. In this case, the partner will have different tastes. This would extend to all aspects of life from music to clothes to cars to home furnishings. With the Unaspected Venus, the sensibilities would be similar to Oscar and Felix in the Odd Couple. Oscar would throw his napkin behind the sofa and Felix would come along with a dustpan.
With the Unaspected Mercury in synastry, one would not really understand the mind of the other. If you have ever had a conversation that seems as if it takes gargantuan effort to make the person understand what you are saying, that would express the nature of the Unaspected Mercury.
With the Unaspected Mars in synastry, the drives would be different. One’s drives encompass a wide range of situations from passion to practical life and career goals. In this case, there would not be an understanding of the drives the other person.One person may be very career oriented. He may want to rise to the top of the corporation. The other person may want to live on a commune. This is an extreme example but I hope it makes the point. So, when you are doing your own synastries, check for any planet of one person which makes no aspects to the chart of the other and you will have a major understanding of the relationship in one fell swoop.
Now, a classic example of unrequited love is when one person wants to be a friend and the other wants to be a lover. In these situation, the person who wants to be a friend will put his neutral planets on the chart of the other. The one who wants to be a lover will put passionate planets on the chart of the other. Let’s give some examples. One person may put his Mercury on the NN of the other. Mercury is communication but not passion. The other person may put his Venus on the NN of the other. Venus is pure love. The Moon is soul but not passion. Hence, if a person’s Mercury conjuncts another person’s Moon, there would be a friendship. If Venus conjunct the Moon, there would be love.
House Overlays play a role, too. If a man puts his planets into your second house, which is the house of money and you put many of your planets into his house of marriage, you want marriage more than he does. This is a simplification but House Overlays are important.
One way love is unreciprocated love that you want to avoid before you burn out needlessly, reaching devastating levels of heartbreak and self-destruction.
Astrology can help to find out in a snap if you might experience unrequited love with someone else.
In doing a chart comparison between two people it’s always best to focus on the standouts to find the essence of the relationship.
Many times clients ask and wonder: is this love, is it just friendship or sympathy or is it lust…
Astrology can tell you.
One of the most important factors in a chart comparison, among others, is the analysis of the planets and bodies that conjunct the angles (Ascendant, MC, Descendant and IC) in the natal chart of the other person.
This is one of the best indications of attraction between two people and this should never be neglected when you compare two charts for mutual attraction.
The analysis of the planets and bodies that conjunct the angles of the other person (orb 6° but the closer the orb the better) describes whom you are attracted to and vice versa.
To a lesser extent, the other aspects (squares, and especially sextiles or trines) can be important too ON CONDITION that they are exact.
In this article we will only focus on the most important aspect of all: the conjunction.
The rule goes as follows: the person whose angles are conjunct a planet or body in the natal chart of the other person, is in love or feels highly attracted to the other person.
The more the conjunction is exact (0°00′ – 0°01′), the more powerful and irresistible attraction and overwhelming love becomes.
While an orb of 6° still works, we do prefer smaller orbs and much more prefer an orb of 3°. The reason is that a wider orb may be overruled by other exact aspects and/or midpoints.
FYI: exact midpoints between two persons always overrule the aspects!
If you read the articles published on our web site, you will know how much we pay attention to very very small orbs and exact aspects! This works and will keep you to the very basics and standouts too.
Example: when the MC of person A is conjunct Venus of person B, then person A is in love with person B. B will only be in love with person A (reciprocal love) if his/her angles too are conjunct a planet or body of person A.
So, if in the chart comparison you only find that planets of one person aspect an angle in the natal chart of the other person, than you do know that there is just one way love or unrequited and unreciprocated love!
If in the chart comparison, we find that planets of a person conjunct an angle of the other person AND a planet of the other person conjuncts an angle of the 1st person, then we know there is reciprocated or shared love.
The most important bodies to conjunct an angle in the natal chart of another person are the Moon and Venus. Both bodies bring real love to the foreground.
- The Moon points to a comfort zone, something that is familiar and is related to the one you un- and subconsciously turn to.
- Venus denotes adorable love. It cannot get better than this. If you have Venus conjunct an angle in the chart of the other person, this is the purest love possible.
Aside from the Moon and Venus, any other planet or body (the Sun, Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune or Pluto) can conjunct the other’s agles too, which is also good an indication of attraction.
- Neptune brings devotion and longings.
- Mars is related to physical attraction but may also result in physical violence if other configurations point to it.
- Jupiter brings tolerance in some way.
- Mercury is related to mental stimuli and insight.
- The Moon’s Nodes are highly important too and can bring kind of a fated attraction.
- Also, when the angles of one partner conjunct the angles of the other person, you may be magnetically and irresistably attracted to each other.In our research, we found this combination in numerous instances between married people, especially when one of the angles isexactly conjunct one of the other person’s angles.
Almost always, in an almost infallible way, people whose angles (all 4 angles) coincide and thus are exact, are destined to marry. The love relationship will last forever too (there will be no divorce that is).
Do know that, when there is one way love, the “planet person” may just feel sympathy for the “angle person” (and not love) and may (easily) quit the relationship for another person/lover.
Mind though that attraction as such has nothing to do with endurability or lasting love. It’s not because a planet of the other person conjuncts one of your angles and vice versa, that you will build a lasting love union.
A planet conjunct an angle is just a very strong and powerful indication of attraction and when the Moon or Venus are involved, there is love from one side (one way love).
Also, the “angle person” is the most vulnerable one, because his/her feelings of love are triggered.
This may result in unrequited love and lover’s burnout, denoting that the “angle person” does EVERYTHING to satisfy the (needs of the) “planet person.” No need to say that this drains the own energy field.
If love is not reciprocated, the “angle person” may hopelessly chase a fata morgana, fill a bottomless bottle.
Though there may be sympathy from the “planet person”, consider that sympathy is NOT love and the feelings are not of the same kind, intensity and “frequency”!
This way, there is no balance between two people resulting in love to become a very painful and even destructive experience for the “angle person.”
There is nothing more painful than love that is not returned, not reciprocated and it’s best to advice the “angle person” to do everything possible to let the “planet person” go.
There is no need to chase something one cannot obtain.
There is no way to force fate because that’s just going against the flow of life and higher energy fields we cannot change or overpower. We all must learn to go with the flow and not go against it.
It’s senseless to burn ourselves out and make our own life a misery.
You may ask, how can this all be clarified?
Our theory (!) is that the angles (and house cusps) are sensitive points that receive or suck energies while planets and bodies radiate or send energies.
If radiating energies from the “planet person” are received by the “angle person”, it triggers a charge or a vibe. This sending-receiving combo acts like a totally irresistible magnetic North-South pole attraction.
When the receiving angles coincide, this may result in sucking energies which result in a vacuum that glues two people together.
Planetary combinations (conjunctions and aspects) are a lower kind of polarized combinations, resulting in minor attractions. That’s why we assume that planetary inter-aspects are less important than planet-angle combinations and inter-aspects.
Here too Nature seems to be based on a hierarchy (in order of importance, the most important and powerful combo above):
- coinciding angles
- coinciding angles and bodies
- coinciding bodies/planets
The coinciding factor is above all a conjunction, followed by other exact aspects.